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I would like to emphasize that journalistic integrity, stories with moral and cutting edge designs can be found in other sites.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tulibu Dibu Douchoo
Gui : You so mean, laugh at other people. Ah Boon : You see yourself, 3 Million other people have already done it.
Gui and Ah Boon, after Gui have seen the latest internet hit" Ken Lee".
Acutally, by the time you people have read this sentence, I guess it would have reach 4 Million. . Got myself a maid recently :p But... still need to bring her out to eat before she start work. Since shes so friendly, I also treat her eat ice cream. Had a wonderful time thou all the shops are closed and like 2 poor rats, we can only do the real window shopping and visit some shady places. ( Hope this answers somebody's question)
My maid actually have a very cham life... almost x2 more cham than mine .( Which most likely is scripted by a Qiong Yao Fanatic) No, shes not suffering from any life threatening diease, having shortage of some rare blood nor is some princess from some enstangled Nation hidding millons in some ulu bank needing someone help her extract them out ( that will be a Nigeria Scam if you people still don't know) . But its still quite cham la. If I type out her situation here, even the most cold blooded killers among you people will cry. BTW, if my maid ever read this, this line is for you "前方是绝路, 希望在转角。"
Picture 1 : Artist impression of my maid.
To help her out, I have decided to setup a "Help the very very cham, and poor thingy but hardworking and cute maid of Gui who headbutts people blindly Trust fund". In short, I will just call it Gui Trust fund.
Picture 2 : What you should put in my pocket.
So all those with golden turtle one , oil plantation , gold mine or is washing black money, working for some Goverment Research center one, living in house bigger than mine, living in house smaller than mine, no house to live in 1, please donate generously to Gui Trust Fund. You can choose to pass me the $$$ above the mahjong table, under the mahjong table or without any table and directly into my pockets will be best. All amounts above Sgd $10 will be welcome. English Pounds are even more welcomed. Don't say I never give you people a chance to do good deed. Interested parties just need to send me an email ~
Movie of the Moment : Ken Lee. After watching this, you better Donate to Gui Trust Fund to earn some good Karma.
"When a couple can fart infront of each other without feeling embrass, that means the love is gone" - What I heard on TV.
So How much do you think you know me ? Do you have the balls to jump into the depths of my corrupted mind and painful past ? If you think you have the balls , or just curious about how I tick, wait no longer. Here is your Chance, just click on the link below
Be afraid, be very very very afraid, for your innocent mind ( should you have one since you are already reading this blog anyway) will be tainted ~ And by the way,
"人家都那么友善的对待我，我请她吃冰淇霖是理所当然的。"- Most memorable line I heard in my last RT session.
Wow, I also wanna treat people eat ice cream haha ~ Nothing much to type thou, other than the fact that I secured my freedom today.
And here are some disjointed thoughts in my mind. Might be worthy to make a movie or something.
Below are public statments issue by Farmer Won to the villagers after a Chicken escaped from his high security farm while going to poo.
4 Hours after Blackie escape: A black chicken, nicknamed Blackie has escape from my hidden farm 4 hours ago. Don't worry , Blackie is no threat to the villagers. Just for your info, Blackie walks with a limp. My slaves will do their best to capture him.
3 days after Blackie escape: I have decided to rest my slaves , don't worry, Blackie is still in our village. He is harmless despite the fact that when he was a wild chicken, he tried to burn my house.
7 days after Blackie escape: I have reasons to believe Blackie is still in our village. Just for your info, Blackie have black feathers, but it might have dyed them. And by the way, it seems like Blackie limps only when its running. And yes, I still can't reveal to you how Blackie escape, at least till I can come out with a believeable tale that will push all blame to maybe the guy who build the farm.
14 days After Blackie escape: I thank all the villagers who had offered me tips on how to capture Blackie. Blackie might be on Jungle diet now. It might look thinner and have more feathers. And it has a mole on its left upper lip.
18 days after Blackie escape: Truth to be told, I have no F**king idea where is Blackie now. But I did found more wild chickens in my search thou. I do deserve some credit right ?
21 day after Blackie escape: Blackie's escape had united all the villagers as one. Maybe I will let more chickens to escape to help us gel together as one. I will call it Chicken Break day if the village cheif approves of it.
27 day after Blackie escape: The village cheif disagree with my idea but we both think that the villagers should pay me more for helping us gel together as one. In the mean time Let us forget everything about Blackie. We should unite as one and look towards the future.
31 day after Blackie escape: Blackie ? who is Blackie ?
This post is a complete work of fiction. All resemblance to any events in the past present or future is purely by chance.
And I will end this post with a conversation I had with Lance / Yang Guo.
Yang Guo : You still got contact the gal you like ? Gui : nope, why ley ? Yang Guo : Nothing just asking nia. Gui : I am a different man now. Yang Guo : Ya I know. Gui : I believe in being a bastard now.
"Buy some AV back for me ley" - Gui to Ah Boon who is flying to Japan.
As any long time visitors can tell, infact, if you have been around since the founding days, this is the most colourful colour scheme ever. No, I have not reach Nivana nor gain any enlightenment, I'm far from there. I just simply feel happy, thats all to it. Have not felt so for quite some time lor and I don't even know why.
This blog is like a reflection of how I feel inside of me ... And yes , things are going well for me, at least for now haha. 1 Remendial Torture session left, and plenty of rest time for me over the weekends. And no, I do not have or have not found a girlfriend, soul mate or Friends with benifits. If I do, I think you people will see fireworks here lol. Now to set you people in the same mood as me first, as this post might be too wordy.
Book Description : More than one hundred stories and testimonies from men who enjoy sharing the most intimate details of their solo sex lives with appreciative readers.
Found this book being sold as I was browsing thu Amazon Online. I wonder what shocked you more ... The fact that this book is actually a sequel /advance guide , meaning the prequel/ begininner's guide sold enough to made a profit that the publisher gave the thumb up to publish a sequel or the fact that I am browsing Amazon Online. Judging by the book cover and description, I doubt there are alot of pretty woman photos inside which are usually more useful than words in this kind of activity( base on what I heard, not from personal experiences) ...
And , just for your info, I was looking at self help book catagory but this is not the kind of 'self help' that I was looking for. I simply can't imagine 1 man telling another man " Dude, you are doing it wrongly, look here, this is the right way to do the right handed Maxwell corkscrew rule." But I think this is what the author just did.
Back to reality. I spent 1 whole day cleaning, rearranging and tidy up my room. Cleared all the unknown insect nests at the corner of the window frame, the gigantic cobwebs at the ceiling and the lizard shits on the wall. It amazes me how much shiting they enjoy doing in my room. Then, it occured to me, I didn't find any lizards in my room... I wonder if I swallowed any in my sleep or they are simply quiters , left my room when the conditions became too hazardous for them to live in.
And then, spend the rest of the day watching
Edward Scissors Hand & Theres Something about Mary 2 of my all time favourite films, Which somehow lead to the creation of the new colour scheme ...
Gonna be a busy 45 days for me starting tomorrow ~ Wish me luck
" God wasn't kind to the indian men..." -Russell Peter
God wasn't kind is actually an understatment, Frankly speaking, I feel that God, if he/she/it exist, is capricious in nature. Reflecting upon my own life, I realsie that I always survire all the dark moments which seem determined to end my story. Yet when the story is going well, there will always be a fatal flaw. Seems like some unknown hands is toying with me, extending my story...Or maybe I am just trying to blame/ praise the turn of events on someone.
But nevertheless, I shall decide how my story goes from now on after resigning myself to fate for 698 days ... It will be long, much much much longer and it will be full of happy moments and pleasant suprises and of course a damn happy ending. You read that big guy ? This is an official declaration of independence. Of course, I won't mind if you intend to throw good things my way, but please, keep all the bad stuff and ideas or pranks you have to someone else.
Anyway, out of curiousity and maybe due to some influence from Ting Ting, I decide to find out more on my 三世书. And the results are below :
If its too small, Click on it haha.
I actually find it to be quite true , at least for this life... I wouldn't really know if I'm some hero of justice in my last life or Space Shutter pilot in my next, but both of them really sound more impressive than what I am doing and intended to do this life. Maybe its time for a change lol~
Maybe I should go be some masked super hero that fight crimes in Singapore. O wait... I think James Lye tried that unsuccessfully ... You know the VR Man, the guy who started his crime fighting career protecting a Chicken Rice stall if my memory serve me right. I wonder how many of you have not been brain washed to forget about thegreat embrassement that it was. Its so bad that I can't find any image of it...
To save myself the same embrassment , Firstly, I will wear a bigger mask to cover my face. Secondly, I will not wear a black spandex. Thirdly, I will try to be an icon that will scare the poo out of every one with evil intentions. Most likely I will look like this...
And lastly, I will start my career by hunting the most terrifying terrorist in Singapore currently. The short, chubby and limping guy that managed to broke out of a high security area and eluded the police, Motherland army and dunno what else that was send to hunt him down, for so long.
Movie of the Moment : You will regret for life if you don't see this. Trust me.
" Guess my body is still not recovering... So who the ass that tell me strong will power will overcome everything..." - Tulan Gui
Woo hoo ~ been deaf or near deaf for 13 hrs, a few more hours left before I visit the doc again to remove the thingy in my ears and get an verdict on whats happening to me... Strangely... all kind of werid problems is appearing on my body since that night 2 year ago ? maybe I'm still not fully recovered I guess haha~
Anyway, during the hours where I have been near deaf, I realise that even when I eat someting, the feeling is different ... losing the sense of hearing makes touching things feel different too... Everything just feels so unreal, other than the fact than I have a terrible itch in my ears and I can't scratch it... But the world does seems like a nicer place when its silent...
Recieved 2 Imperial Edicts from the Motherland Army yesterday ( Maybe thats why I fell ill . ). I can only say... I must have bow down to them far too long to the extend that they think they can do whatever they want with me even when I am no longer with them... Thou I hope the 2nd edict is a mistake ... or I will have to fly to some god forsaken place for weeks to do some crap they can't find anyone else to do.
Its saddening to know that the decisive force don't have the dignity, honor , courage and the balls to tell you that they have decided to screw your life over up side down, face to face... Nooo, they just can't do it... they can only send you a cute sms, asking you to login in to a fancy looking but useless webpage and show it to you in some text, without offering any explaination and reason or a person to rant at. Heck they didn't even tell me where I'm going... just some silly words " Overseas trainning. Report to Mandai Hill camp at 0730 on XX/XX/2008".
Found a photo of me in a Yang Guo's blog sometime back... Its not a normal photo... its a photo that I didn't even knew exist...~ luckily, its not the Edison kind and in case you are wondering, I'm the only 1 in the photo with a ride.
I know I know... Thats me , around 5 years ago ? Before I got corrupted and more slim back then. Ah~~~ Those are the days when my thinking was more pure and innocent and I believed that anybody in the world can be trusted~ And don't ask me why Yin Tong 淫同 is in a different colour. You gotta ask the person who 1st post this in his blog...~
" So whats your Plan" - Yin Tong " I don't have a Plan " - Dumb Gui
Without even starting any of the things I wanted to do this year, its March already. Not only Have I not started, I have not even planned... Wait... before that.. what was it exactly that I wanted to do this year... I can't remember... Maybe I'm getting senile...
Watched L : Change the World... Frankly speaking... I think L is kinda out of Character... Remember in Deathnote 2, He have every single intention to torture the kawaii Misa Misa... for 1 month... How in the world did he mellowed to some kid loving older brother ? And his opponent, the Eco Terrorist, Blue Earth or some crappy name, Seem brainless and dull when compared to Kira... A craze scientist , a man with weird eye, one guy who can't shoot at point blank and a psychotic knife wielding girl, they look like they should be in the old Batman Franchise, you know, the one where the Bat Suit have nipples and have that line " Do you know what killed the dinosaurs ? The ICE AGE !!!" But over all I still like the film... despite how uncomfortable it made me felt .
Heres the rest of my Feb in a few pix
The Door Gift from my Cousin Jane's Wedding. I still kept them as a memento =p
Something to replace lunch ...
or Maybe not
Prove that I have no Luck ~ ( Click on small pix to see big pix)
Well once in a blue moon things like these do happen ~
And heres something I am looking foward to in March. Thou I might have a headache if the 60% might be recalled Ah Seng cannot go on that day...
I actually wanted to put my neighbour( before he went to that place with no sunlight) Mus Selemat photo here, but I guess every people on the tiny red dote have seen it. I hope he get caught soon as the incompentency of the motherland's security council is so glaring thats its making me blush... Maybe they should watch The Fugitive or Prison Break season 2 for some ideas. Maybe , just maybe, they are hoping that someone with Death Note would just look at their Mobile phone and write his name in.
Movie of the Moment : I don't like beaches, but I do like ...
